Don't be ugly

Warning!!!! This blog contains more grammatical errors than you can count, if this is a problem hit the BACK button now, and remember these opinions are mine alone. :)
I'm a southerner; I know how important it is to be polite. My mamma taught me how to have good manners, she was such a "manner drill sergeant" that we had to answer the phone like this: "C_____'s residence; Christin speaking"...this is not a joke, I actually spent the first 15 years of my life thinking that every child should or did answer the phone that way...CREEPY, I know...we were at our house not an insurance agency. I still to this day address my elder's and/or supervisors with "yes ma'am/sir and no ma'am/sir, I'M 32!!!  Needless to say, I understand manners, I respect people who use them and I like to say things in a delicate, polite way whenever possible, however sometimes it is not possible which brings me to my point. I do not believe anyone should hide the truth in a polite little phrase such as "Don't Be Ugly". I looked up the definition of ugly on the internet today (I know, I know you can't believe how hard I work to research for my blog), according to the Bing Dictionary the #1 definition of ugly is unattractive: lacking appealing physical features, especially facial ones.

I hang out with lots of kids between work and all my friend’s children and I hear "don't be ugly” almost every day.  I truly believe what these sweet ladies are trying to nicely say to children is “stop being rude, mean, selfish, unappreciative, defiant, loud, or combative." I do not think they actually mean to tell children "don't be unattractive, lacking in appealing physical features, especially facial ones, my little snickerdoodle” but kids are literal and we forget that pragmatic language develops over time not at our convenience.
I have 3 points I would like to make about this topic other than the fact that it makes me want to plug up my already half deaf ears.

1. I am concerned that by telling children not to be "ugly" we are telling them that individuals they consider unattractive or unappealing are bad, dangerous, or could potentially harm them. This is just simply not true; some of the scariest serial killers and child predators I have seen on "Dateline NBC" and "20/20" are attractive people. I am afraid this could set our children up to be taken advantage of or harmed because of a misconception they have been taught by the adults around them.

2. They could also treat really good, genuine, loving people as the enemy because they do find them attractive and then they would miss out many meaningful relationships because they think a person is "ugly".

3. We need to teach young people what TO DO instead of what NOT TO DO. Why are we not saying things like "use a quiet voice, be respectful to your mother, when someone gives you a gift you say thank you even if it's not what you were hoping for, or share with your brother dear. Instead we buy 2 of everything, get 110% of their Christmas list, teach them to demand and most of all we trick them into thinking they are ENTITLED to whatever; however they can get it.

So in my sweet, polite, well-meaning friends words "don't be ugly", tell the truth in love and expect NO demand more from our children...I bet when we raise the bar for their behavior they will jump over it every time.
 
Until next time...I'm sure the TTSS (trust tree/support group) will have some topic they want me to discuss (rant) about after Friday.

Try Better?

I realize I haven't blogged in ohhhhh 2 years but I have been urged by a member of my support group/trust tree a.k.a. the girls I meet on Fridays for "elated hour" at local Mexican eatery to blog, so here goes.

So if you know anything about me you know that I work with special kids, more importantly I work mostly with students who are on the Autism Spectrum. I go into lots of classrooms and schools; I work with AMAZING men and women on a daily basis and LOVE my job. God made me to work with these kids; this is my purpose, my calling and most importantly my passion. There are no words to describe loving what you do the way I do, but there are days when I walk into a room, a Sunday school class, hang out with my friends and their kids, or any other situation I may be in where adults are instructing, teaching or nurturing children and want to scream "DON'T SAY THAT, IT MAKES NO SENSE AND DRIVES ME CRAZY'! With that said...before I post these comments please remember these are only my opinions and do not reflect any organization and/or person I work for or with. :)

So without further ado here are my thoughts on saying "try better".

Try Better?... I need someone to explain to me how exactly one can "TRY BETTER"? Actually I want someone to explain to me how I can try better because let me assure you that if I trying at all, I am TRYING my best, I am doing what I can and I am putting forth all the effort and cognitive ability in me at that given moment. Now that does not mean that at a different moment my effort would not be more or less than what I am giving you right then but for goodness sake if I am trying I CANNOT PHYSICALLY TRY BETTER! I believe that we should get credit for what we are doing and we should be held accountable for what we are NOT doing therefore if I am not trying please don't tell me to "try better"; give me a hug, redirect me and please convince me to TRY! If you could do this I would really appreciate it, and I promise on a daily basis when I see you or when I see a precious child I am working with I will do all I can to help them try and more importantly I will do my best to assist and scaffold them to success. Most of all please see that if we are "trying" we are doing.

Finally,I would like to quote one of the most intelligent beings there has ever been.  In the words of Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."

Stay tuned for next time: "don't be ugly".

Night.