Thankful.

My mom had surgery this week.  She had a pinched nerve (and alot of other complicated things) in her neck, her right arm and 3 fingers have been numb for 6 weeks and she has been in unbelievable pain.

If you know my mom you know that when you're sick you get a meal, when you're tired you get a call, when you're down you get a prayer and if someone dies you get it all about 1000 times. She loves to visit people in the hospital, she and my dad will sit there all day just talking to a friend while they wait for news of a loved one, or pray with the doctors before surgery, they know how to love people. I'm so privileged to say that my parents have taught me how to love hurting people, they're an example to everyone in how to love people, ALL people.  

This week I have gotten a chance to see people love them in return and been blessed every single time.

My mom got to the hospital at 5:22 am on Tuesday, one of her best friends Pat and her husband got there at 5 a.m. waiting for her.  My dad had 9 people with him while my mom was in surgery; all of them friends that they have been with during a surgery, death, illness or hard time. I was asleep but Pat and Jeff they were there waiting at the hospital for my parents to arrive.

I got to the hospital after work and stayed for a few hours, Pat and Jeff were there with another great friend Mrs. Brenda.

Dinner will be at my parent's house every night this week and weekend so my none of us have to cook. 

Its amazing to me how God gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it. Today Mrs. Liz brought my mom chocolate and sunflowers. What she didn't know, was that my mom had asked me to go buy her some flowers because she could use a little more sunshine in the house, 45 minutes later Liz walked in the door with 6 HUGE sunshiny flowers and chocolate, she had no idea what my mom had asked me to get her.  Mrs. Dottie stopped by for a short visit this afternoon and stayed while I ran an errand.

I guess I say all these rambling things for one reason: don't ever think that your simple gestures of kindness and consideration go unnoticed. They will always come back 1,000,000 times over. 

Thinking of all this kindness, this song has been playing in my head for days, name that tune!!!!!

Thank you for being a friend, traveling down the road and back again

Your heart is true your a pal and a confidant.

And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew;

You would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say...

Thank you for being a friend.

(Lyrics by Andrew Gold)

 Just as I have loved you; love one another.  John 13:34

Random Happenings

Well, it’s here! Summer vacation has arrived; school is out!

Let the randomness begin...

(and as always, if grammar and spelling are important to you, hit the back button now)

 I know this should be incredibly exciting to me, I act all excited, giddy even, as the day approaches but I have a confession: I have major anxiety when school finally draws to a close and I have NOTHING to do. S knows it’s coming; I get very snippy and start arguments for no reason; cry at the drop of hat and have MAJOR mood swings. It’s like having PMS for a month. My.Poor.Husband. this is why for the last 3 years I have applied to work during the month of June and I LOVE it, the people are super nice, fun and teach me so much while I'm there, and they also provide the perfect transition for me as I journey toward having 5 weeks off. You all know who you are. I AM SO THANKFUL!!!!!

 I was unaware that the fattest cat in the world lived in my city; his name is Moose and he weighs like 25 pounds. He lives in a loft downtown, I have no idea how he got up the stairs because he obviously doesn't walk up stairs. This picture doesn't really do Moose justice, but trust me, this is one HUGE cat!

Have you ever genuinely sent a ridiculous auto correct text message? I did a few weeks ago. My friend Sarah Beth had been talking about this show "Duck Dynasty" on A&E. I happen to turn on the TV while it was on, I was so excited that I had to tell her that I was watching; this is what happened:

I laughed really hard. Maybe you just had to be there!

Every night before I go to bed I get Chevy's dog bed out for him to sleep on, I usually lock everything up before I do this, but the other night I got the routine out of order; Chevy's bed was in place and I put Chevy in our room before I remembered to lock up, Seth was still up and my little opportunistic puppy took advantage of the situation. I had to share the picture because I think he is precious, and the best dog EVER born.

Pollyanna

School is out!!!! I am sitting around reflecting on the year and what in the world I am going obsess over now that what I obsess over everyday has been put on hold for 2 months and I find myself being glad.  Glad for lots of things, but mostly glad for all the new friends I have made this year and for the friends I've had forever.

I got the chance the other day to be glad about my recent circumstances with infertility and miscarriage.  An old friend of mine from college lost her baby. Due to a random coincidence, I was probably only 1 of 3 people on the planet who knew she was pregnant and I got to go and give her a present and love her a little bit. It felt really nice to be able to not just understand but to completely empathize with her situation; the hurt, confusion and mixed emotions she was having. It was wasn't hard for me to put myself "in her shoes"; I had been there 3 times before.  I was glad I got to be there with my friend...for my friend.

Well, that got me thinking about empathy and how so many people I know and care about DON'T have it. I'm baffled by the fact that we spend our days talking and devoting our time and energy to others and don't have the faintest clue what the person is actually feeling, thinking or going through...more importantly that we don't care!!! Then I thought how glad I was that God has brought me through hard times to my life (I know this sounds insane and no I don't want to necessarily continue to have hard times if I don't have to) but I'm so thankful I can put myself  " in someone else's shoes" who is hurting and get it.

Anyway, all this thinking about how glad I have been lately reminded me of one of  me and my mom's most favorite movies, "Pollyanna". It was made in 1960 and stars Hayley Mills before "The Parent Trap".  I won't explain the plot because there is no way I could do it justice, if you haven't seen it: rent it, buy it, or download it.   In the film Hayley Mills plays a little girl named Pollyanna who loves to play a game her parents taught her called The Glad Game.  It's the easiest game ever,  all you do is think of things you are glad about, for example: I'm glad school is out; I'm glad I have the sweetest husband ever ( I guess you could be glad you have the second sweetest husband ever); I'm glad I have a car that works; I'm glad I have my family; I'm glad I have my dog, Chevy...

So, now I'm wondering what you're glad about?  I would love for you to post a comment and let me know.  Maybe we could stop being so wrapped up in ourselves and our problems that we can start being glad for what we have, then hopefully we'll be able to see others and what they need. I could totally use a good dose of reality/attitude adjustment and I'm thinking this may be a good start , who's with me?

 Yes, that is a giant beanbag and 104 pound dog...isn't he so precious. I'm glad I have him.

Painting and Jamming

We have had a busy couple of weeks and I thought the 3 people who read this would like to see some pictures instead of me just ranting on about nothing.  

Every year I make strawberry freezer jam and I seem to get a little more obsessive about it each time.

So I made 35 jars in all.  It was a very productive/therapeutic mother's day weekend  making jam and spending time with family!!!!! 

S and I went had to pick up sugar before I made anything because we were OUT. He dropped me off at the grocery store and drove around the shopping center parking lot.   Somehow he got a little distracted when he saw A.C. Moore and decided to go in, so while I waited out front of Food City, S decided he was going to take up painting...like on a canvas. He picked me up and we went back to A.C. Moore to pick up some supplies.

When I asked him why he was going to start painting he replied "I need to start engaging my right brain", he was dead serious, I love my husband...he likes to learn new things and keep me on my toes.  Here is his first masterpiece. I think it is fabulous...He painted a canvas full of  neon shapes first and it was so fun, it looked like a background from "The Teletubbies" or a Jelly Bean ad so he didn't like it and he painted over it, this is what he did instead. LOVELY!



This weekend we got to visit with some of our most favorite friends and while I was getting everything straightened up so that they could see our almost completely remodeled master bedroom/bathroom this little guy jumped up on the bed so I couldn't finish making it.

This concludes my recent weekend review. 

Happy Summer!



Plans

I'm a planner!! I plan it all: I know that I have to get out of the bed by 6:17 in the morning to get to work on time at 6:19 I'll officially be late; I make the coffee the night before; lay all my clothes out (even my underwear) in the "guest" bedroom for the next day before I go to sleep; I have a HUGE purse because I can't imagine being stuck somewhere without something I need. I like a plan.

I have had a plan for my life since I was in 8th grade. I remember the exact moment when I knew what I had been created to do with my life, and from that moment on I had a plan. I'd be a special education teacher, I'd get married when I was 30 (like my mom), I have children almost immediately, and I would go back to work after my kids were in school. I have had the same plan since 8th grade and other than getting married when I was 29 instead of 30 it’s pretty much progressed accordingly.

Then, on January 3, 2011 the plan changed. I lost my first baby. I was 6.4 weeks pregnant with our first child. We were heartbroken.

I was in shock that I was pregnant to begin with; I had just stopped taking my birth control in October and had heard it could probably take a little while to even get pregnant but I was excited!!!! I immediately made a plan in my head for when the baby arrived; I knew exactly what I would do about work and childcare. I had names and was looking for bedding and strollers; I had already looked up every brand of baby product known to man on the Consumer Reports. Then on the morning of January 3, 2011 I didn't need a plan anymore, more importantly I knew I wasn't the one in charge of the plan. I have been reminded every day since January 3, 2011 that the only one who knows anything about my plan is not me but God. I was reminded that He knows the plans he has for me, plans to prosper me not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11) I had no idea then that the peace The Lord had placed in my heart would carry me through 2 more lost babies, to the journey I am currently traveling with my sweet husband and The Lord.

I read this excerpt today from a piece on rageagainsttheminivan.com, in a series she does called "What I Want You to Know".  It struck me especially fitting since I had my first meeting with my infertility doctor this morning and began some testing. It describes a lot of the emotions I felt in the 13 months to follow January 3, 2011, if you want to read the rest of the post or find out more about either of these ladies and their blogs, please visit the website.

"Instead of expecting a baby, I am expecting the proof of her demise. Instead of baby clothes, I am buying feminine hygiene products. Instead of wearing maternity clothes, I’m putting them away again. Instead of complaining about how sick I am, I detest the normal feeling that has taken over, the hunger pangs I haven’t known for six weeks. The hormones are subsiding and all I want is to have the nausea back. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. This was the one we had prayed about from the very moment we knew; that it would be easy, stress-free, the one time we were going to wish we had delivered at home. This is not what I prayed for!!

They tell you it isn’t anything you did or didn’t do. But as the sole human protector of this tiny life, there is a responsibility that cannot be escaped. Everything I have done these last six weeks since I learned I carried this life has been done because of my responsibility to provide a healthy environment, the proper vitamins, and a good diet. Each activity was scrutinized for the impact it might have and many put away for later dates. It is difficult to set aside the responsibility I have carried, and been told I carry, for the past six weeks at a moment’s notice, simply because something went wrong. Perhaps especially because something went wrong.
I wish there was a responsibility that was still mine. Something I could do that would stop this loss, some way to save this precious life. I almost wish it was something I had done; maybe I could have been more faithful in taking my vitamins, I could have been more resolute about not picking up the boys, I could have rested more. I wish there was an obvious mistake that might have caused this so I could avoid it in the future. "

And so for me it begins, I'm finally starting the process of figuring out if there is something we can do or something I should do but, I know there was nothing I could have done because, I know Who has gone before me and Who will be with us every step of the way. I'm so thankful for the peace that comes from knowing He will fight for me, I need only to be still. Exodus 14:14

Don't be ugly

Warning!!!! This blog contains more grammatical errors than you can count, if this is a problem hit the BACK button now, and remember these opinions are mine alone. :)
I'm a southerner; I know how important it is to be polite. My mamma taught me how to have good manners, she was such a "manner drill sergeant" that we had to answer the phone like this: "C_____'s residence; Christin speaking"...this is not a joke, I actually spent the first 15 years of my life thinking that every child should or did answer the phone that way...CREEPY, I know...we were at our house not an insurance agency. I still to this day address my elder's and/or supervisors with "yes ma'am/sir and no ma'am/sir, I'M 32!!!  Needless to say, I understand manners, I respect people who use them and I like to say things in a delicate, polite way whenever possible, however sometimes it is not possible which brings me to my point. I do not believe anyone should hide the truth in a polite little phrase such as "Don't Be Ugly". I looked up the definition of ugly on the internet today (I know, I know you can't believe how hard I work to research for my blog), according to the Bing Dictionary the #1 definition of ugly is unattractive: lacking appealing physical features, especially facial ones.

I hang out with lots of kids between work and all my friend’s children and I hear "don't be ugly” almost every day.  I truly believe what these sweet ladies are trying to nicely say to children is “stop being rude, mean, selfish, unappreciative, defiant, loud, or combative." I do not think they actually mean to tell children "don't be unattractive, lacking in appealing physical features, especially facial ones, my little snickerdoodle” but kids are literal and we forget that pragmatic language develops over time not at our convenience.
I have 3 points I would like to make about this topic other than the fact that it makes me want to plug up my already half deaf ears.

1. I am concerned that by telling children not to be "ugly" we are telling them that individuals they consider unattractive or unappealing are bad, dangerous, or could potentially harm them. This is just simply not true; some of the scariest serial killers and child predators I have seen on "Dateline NBC" and "20/20" are attractive people. I am afraid this could set our children up to be taken advantage of or harmed because of a misconception they have been taught by the adults around them.

2. They could also treat really good, genuine, loving people as the enemy because they do find them attractive and then they would miss out many meaningful relationships because they think a person is "ugly".

3. We need to teach young people what TO DO instead of what NOT TO DO. Why are we not saying things like "use a quiet voice, be respectful to your mother, when someone gives you a gift you say thank you even if it's not what you were hoping for, or share with your brother dear. Instead we buy 2 of everything, get 110% of their Christmas list, teach them to demand and most of all we trick them into thinking they are ENTITLED to whatever; however they can get it.

So in my sweet, polite, well-meaning friends words "don't be ugly", tell the truth in love and expect NO demand more from our children...I bet when we raise the bar for their behavior they will jump over it every time.
 
Until next time...I'm sure the TTSS (trust tree/support group) will have some topic they want me to discuss (rant) about after Friday.

Try Better?

I realize I haven't blogged in ohhhhh 2 years but I have been urged by a member of my support group/trust tree a.k.a. the girls I meet on Fridays for "elated hour" at local Mexican eatery to blog, so here goes.

So if you know anything about me you know that I work with special kids, more importantly I work mostly with students who are on the Autism Spectrum. I go into lots of classrooms and schools; I work with AMAZING men and women on a daily basis and LOVE my job. God made me to work with these kids; this is my purpose, my calling and most importantly my passion. There are no words to describe loving what you do the way I do, but there are days when I walk into a room, a Sunday school class, hang out with my friends and their kids, or any other situation I may be in where adults are instructing, teaching or nurturing children and want to scream "DON'T SAY THAT, IT MAKES NO SENSE AND DRIVES ME CRAZY'! With that said...before I post these comments please remember these are only my opinions and do not reflect any organization and/or person I work for or with. :)

So without further ado here are my thoughts on saying "try better".

Try Better?... I need someone to explain to me how exactly one can "TRY BETTER"? Actually I want someone to explain to me how I can try better because let me assure you that if I trying at all, I am TRYING my best, I am doing what I can and I am putting forth all the effort and cognitive ability in me at that given moment. Now that does not mean that at a different moment my effort would not be more or less than what I am giving you right then but for goodness sake if I am trying I CANNOT PHYSICALLY TRY BETTER! I believe that we should get credit for what we are doing and we should be held accountable for what we are NOT doing therefore if I am not trying please don't tell me to "try better"; give me a hug, redirect me and please convince me to TRY! If you could do this I would really appreciate it, and I promise on a daily basis when I see you or when I see a precious child I am working with I will do all I can to help them try and more importantly I will do my best to assist and scaffold them to success. Most of all please see that if we are "trying" we are doing.

Finally,I would like to quote one of the most intelligent beings there has ever been.  In the words of Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."

Stay tuned for next time: "don't be ugly".

Night.